Monster Cookies

Here you go.  Your first recipe.

love,

J.

Monster Cookies               Date: 1-4-2017

 

  • 3 Eggs (Large… or try 1 duck egg.. I dare you)
  • 1 ¼ C Brown Sugar
  • 1 C Granulated Sugar
  • ½ t Salt (Kosher)
  • ½ t Vanilla (if you have beans handy, trade up for a bean) (also, if youre crafty make some vanilla salt (store your spent beans in kosher salt and save for a rainy pastry day)
  • 12 oz Peanut Butter (Jiffy is my favorite because its almost Jeff-y.  Be a grown-up and get chunky)
  • 110 g Butter (use grams, you caveman)
  • ½ C M&M’s (or the equally cool but misrepresented “Magic Pieces”)
  • ½ C Chocolate Chips
  • ¼ C Raisins
  • 2 t Baking Soda
  • 4 ½ C Rolled Oats

 

  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  • Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats.
  • In a very large mixing bowl, combine the eggs and sugars. Add the salt, vanilla, peanut butter, and butter. Mix well. Stir in the chocolate candies, chocolate chips, raisins, baking soda, and oatmeal.
  • Drop batter however large you want 2 inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheets.
  • NEVER EVER EVER JUST EAT THE DELICIOUS BATTER BY ITSELF OR FOLD INTO YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM.
  • Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Do not overbake. Let stand for about 3 minutes before transferring to racks to cool. When cool, eat all of them immediately.  Don’t share with friends or enemies.

 

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